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As the Bible says in one of its proverbs, "A fool's mouth is his destruction." As soon as you open your mouth, there is a high likelihood that you will say something that will be an immediate turn-off to any woman who might have even noticed you. Suddenly, instead of being a fool, you will become a "man of mystery." Wherever you are, women will gravitate toward you.
Paradoxically, in fact, one of the best ways to attract women is not to show any eagerness at all in going after them.
I know this coffee shop flirting is innocuous; I've never given the barista my number, or even my name.
But there are other situations that seem to just happen: the guy at the literary reading series, who stopped me on the way to the ladies room to compliment me on my shoes, and then on my wedding ring, and then, since I stayed for conversation, on my name and nationality (I think the word "exotic" may have even come up).
When the guy from graduate school IMs me to say he likes my profile picture?
Should I drink the beer bought by an admirer, even though I initially declined the offer?
For the most part, I can say maturity and practicing good boundaries has made the impulse to flirt easier to control.